trooperst-3v3:

Gather ‘round, troopers with vajoopers. Ladies, gents, and anyone else who has a vajayjay needs to come listen to Stevey real quick.

Remember I said I was testing someone for strep?
Yep. Positive.
But that’s not what we’re here for.

See, I prescribed her some antibiotics to fix the problem, but she told me the last guy that ran the medbay gave her those once and she got a killer yeast infection.
THAT GUY WAS A DOUCHE WHO FAILED TO GIVE HER SOME VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION.
(Deej is reading over my shoulder and nodding. She knows what I’m about to tell you.)

I’m just a medic, not a doctor, but I’ve read enough books to know that antibiotics do some weird sciency shit to the pH levels in your sarlacc pit, but all you need to counteract the evil is…

YOGURT.

Seriously. Eat it. Shovel it into your mouth hole. Gobs of it. It’ll help you stay healthy and it will taste delightful topped with granola.

You are an integral part of the First Order, and you cannot serve your Supreme Leader effectively with the fires of Mustafar burning in your nether regions. Also, it’s just cruel to let someone suffer something so easily preventable. You deal with enough shit around here as it is.

Take care of yourselves.

Stevey out.