solohux:

Despite having looked at himself from every angle possible,
Kylo’s disgust at his own body does not fade.

He stands in front of the viewport in his chambers, wearing
nothing but his tight-fitting leggings, staring at his reflection in the glass,
and wishing he looked like an omega
instead of just having the heart of one.

His gaze drops from his head down to his toes, annoyed by
his towering height. No officer on the Finalizer
is taller than he is, though sometimes, he’ll stand beside Captain Phasma
for no other reason than to feel small. He stares at his chest next; too wide
and too muscular to be considered attractive by anyone’s standards. Though he
can feel a thickness to his tits, it’s
hard rather than soft, the opposite of what an omega’s chest should be. It
should be squishy, showing off the
fact that he’ll be able to feed pups should an alpha want to breed him.

But it’s his face that infuriates him the most. Eyes too
dark, nose too big, hair too dark, lips too thick, moles too invading. Smoothing his hands through his wet hair, Kylo
brushes it back and puts his ears on show, turning his head slightly so he can
see their shape.

Omegas are meant to be dainty creatures. Strong, yes, but
in soul, not in body.

Kylo sighs, letting his hair fall back down to frame his
pale face. He wants to crawl back into bed, he wants to order troops to stand
guard at his door to make sure no one bothers him: the ugliest omega in the
galaxy—

“Ren? I thought you were scheduled to review your TIE
Fighter modifications at 1200.”

It’s Hux, coming into Kylo’s chambers for his lunch break,
to gaze upon his defective mate before going back to the bridge where real omegas—pretty, little Mitaka—swoon over his every move.

“I cancelled,” Kylo says, grabbing his bathrobe from the
nearby chair to drape it around himself, fastening it quickly before flopping
down onto his couch. “I think I’m coming down with something.”

“Dear me. Should we get a meddroid in to check on you? It
could be your heat starting early,” Hux says, setting his datapad and cup of
caf down before moving to feel Kylo’s forehead.

Kylo flinches, pushing Hux’s hand away. “I don’t need a
droid,” Kylo says. “And I don’t need to be mollycoddled. I’m not a pup, Hux.”

Hux frowns, seemingly offended by Kylo’s coldness. “I know
you’re no pup, Ren. You’re my mate, and I’m allowed to be concerned about you.
If it is your heat, then we’ll have
to forward our shore leave dates to now. I promised to take you to that new spa
resort on Omora, remember?”

“Mm.” Kylo remembers. It’s a spa designed specifically for
mated couples to visit and enjoy the omega’s heat together, rather than
struggle through it whilst in the presence of other leering alphas.

“Kylo, my darling, what’s wrong? I may not be a Force user
but I am your mate, and I can feel
your discomfort. Is it something I’ve said? Are you truly unwell?”

Kylo’s hatred towards himself only grows when he hears
himself whimper, needing his alpha’s
comfort. His skin prickles, his fingers twitch and his stomach churns,
unwilling to allow him to suffer alone.

“I…I want you to leave me.”

Hux visibly recoils; Kylo can feel his mate’s shock and
confusion radiating through their bond.

“Ren,” Hux gasps,
reaching for Kylo’s hand, exhaling when the omega allows it to be taken. “Why
would you say that? Aren’t you happy with me? Tell me what I’ve done wrong and
I swear to you that I’ll fix it. I swear on my Mother’s grave, Kylo Ren, please—”

“I’m not good enough for you, Hux,” Kylo snaps, pulling his
hand from Hux’s hold, turning away and closing his eyes. “You deserve a pretty omega. Someone who looks like an omega. I’ve heard officers
say that I look like the alpha and you, the omega. And it isn’t fair. You’re
handsome, brilliant, and you don’t
deserve to be with an omega like me. I’m sorry. But I’m telling you to go. I
want you to be happy, Hux. I love you. But I’m nothing and I can’t drag you
down anymore.”

Kylo doesn’t realise that he’s crying until Hux’s ungloved
finger is wiping falling tears from his face, cupping his cheek to bring his
attention back to him.

“Never say any of that again,” Hux says, voice shaking. “You
do not get to decide how I feel, Kylo
Ren. How can you tell me that you love me but then tell me that I must leave
you? Are you so blinded by your own self-hatred that you don’t see that I would
go to the ends of the galaxy and beyond for
you? I love you, Ren, with all that I am, regardless of how wrong you are about
yourself.”

“But I…You—“

“No, none of that,” Hux continues, guiding Kylo’s head
towards him to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Where is it written than
an omega must be smaller than their alpha? Your arms, big enough to hold me and
all of my problems in the dead of night. Your chest, strong enough to house
your heavy heart. And your face. Where do I begin? Your soft lips, your strong
nose. Your ears? Well, all the better for listening to my endearments. And your
eyes are so deep that I find myself lost in them constantly, wishing never to
be found. Ren, you’re a treasure to behold. And you are mine.”

Kylo bites his lip, basking in the afterglow of Hux’s
compliments but is unable to hold back his tears so throws himself into Hux’s
arms, wanting to be swallowed up by his embrace, however much smaller than his
it may be. Hux is home.

“I-I’m sorry,” Kylo says, pressing his nose into the alpha’s
neck, inhaling his scent. “I love you too. I just thought that you’d be
offended, your officers thinking that I was your alpha, that you were my omega.”

“Ha,” Hux says, nuzzling his cheek against the top of Kylo’s
head, pressing soft kisses to his wet hair, rocking his mate gently in his arms.
“What a compliment it is to be called an omega.”