Author: techiehux

| techiehux

readytake2:

🎅 My Kylux Secret Santa for @verybadhedgehog 🎅 https://archiveofourown.org/works/16877934

Big thank you for advice/cheering/walking me through AO3 uploading: @flaming-dumpster @boredbyreality @armoredsuperheavy @groffiction @bandvn  + the ‘bodily fluids’ discord channel ❤

Image | | techiehux

oforlikelalune:

generalgingersnaps:

sweet-refractor:

generalgingersnaps:

textsfromstarkiller:

(224): I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well…

Omg… I need a fic of Commandant Hux getting getting a dickpic of Kylo Ren.

Omg….

<General.Hux> I apologise profusely, Father. Some kind of technical tomfoolery by the new recruits, no doubt.

<Commandant.B.Hux> Yes, yes, of course. What’s their name? When do I get to meet them? Do you plan on marrying them? 

<General.Hux>

Father…

<Commandant.B.Hux>
Neither of us are getting any younger, boy. I’m not dying until I know that you’ve secured the bloodline.

<General.Hux> Father, you’re replying to the group thread. Please contact me directly.

<Sn0k3DaSupr3m3> Indeed, General. What are your intentions towards my apprentice? I trust that they are honourable.

<The.Master.of.Ren> Hux! That holopic was FOR YOU ONLY.

<The.Master.of.Ren> WHY HAVE YOU SENT IT TO EVERYONE?

<General.Hux> Stop using this channel immediately. It’s neither private nor secure.

<HuttSlayerLeia> Ben, I FORBID you from marrying that maniac.

<The.Master.of.Ren> Who’s Ben? No-one by that name here.

– – 

Private message from: <HuttSlayerLeia> to <General.Hux>

<HuttSlayerLeia> WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SON?

<General.Hux> Madam, are you under the impression that I am taking advantage of him?

<HuttSlayerLeia> You sick beast! Don’t lay so much as another finger on him, or I’ll cut your balls off and force-feed them to you.

<General.Hux> So that’s where he gets his manners from. Charming.

<General.Hux> For the record, your son is the one taking advantage of me. He destroys my ship, terrorises my staff, wilfully disobeys orders, has no concept of personal space and he farts like a distressed bantha.

<HuttSlayerLeia> He’s lactose intolerant.

<HuttSlayerLeia> Now send. him. back!!!!!

– –

Private message from: <The.Master.of.Ren> to <General.Hux>

<The.Master.of.Ren> How could you do this to me?

<The.Master.of.Ren> I’m fielding enquiries from both the Supreme Leader and your father over wedding dates and adoption agency recommendations.

<The.Master.of.Ren> Not to mention that my Knights are furious with me for not telling them about our supposed wedding plans.

– – 

<RadarTechMatt> Kylo Ren has an awesome dick.

<YourDeathComesInChrome> I suppose – it is quite cute.

<RadarTechMatt> Right!? It’s the best.

<YourDeathComesInChrome> I’ll take your word for it…

<ClanTechie> Kylo Ren has nothing on a certain radar technician…

<RadarTechMatt> :3

<General.Hux> So sorry to interrupt the conversation, but WOULD EVERYBODY KINDLY GET THE KRIFF OFF OF THIS CHANNEL!?

– – 

Private message from: <Commandant.B.Hux> to <General.Hux>

<Commandant.B.Hux> Don’t raise your voice at me, boy! You’re not too big to be put over my knee, you know.

<General.Hux> I apologise, Father.

<Commandant.B.Hux> You’re still coming to Krennic’s barbeque next Primeday, aren’t you? He says that you can bring your partner.

<General.Hux> I might…

<Commandant.B.Hux> If you don’t bring your partner, my finger might accidentally slip and upload some baby pictures of you.

<Commandant.B.Hux> Especially that picture of you asleep on your potty.

<General.Hux> …!

<Commandant.B.Hux> I look forwards to seeing you both on Primeday, then. 🙂

– –

<Mitth’raw’nuruodo> Interesting. The image possesses a raw uncertainty to it, as though the photographer isn’t sure that the viewer will appreciate what they’re looking at. The subject matter itself is inconsequential – I’ve never understood the human species’ fascination with reproductive organs.

<The.Master.of.Ren> Are you… genuinely passing artistic commentary? Because I do not appreciate having my genitals referred to as ‘inconsequential’.

<General.Hux> STOP USING THIS CHANNEL.

– – 

Private message from: <The.Master.of.Ren> to <General.Hux>

<The.Master.of.Ren> Do you think my penis is inconsequential?

<The.Master.of.Ren> I know it’s not as big as you expected, but size isn’t important.

<The.Master.of.Ren> Right?

<The.Master.of.Ren> Your penis isn’t that much bigger than mine.

<The.Master.of.Ren> Two inches. That’s inconsequential.

<General.Hux> Kylo, I have absolutely no complaints to make about your penis.

<General.Hux> I’m not a size queen. As far as I’m concerned, five inches is perfect.

<General.Hux> Besides, I’m in a relationship with you, not your genitals.

<The.Master.of.Ren> Okay. Thank you.

<General.Hux> My father wants to meet you.

<The.Master.of.Ren> Oh.

<The.Master.of.Ren> Maybe I should have introduced you to Han Solo before I killed him.

– – 

<General.Hux> I will vent the next person that uses this channel. You have all been warned.

<Millicent> Miaow!

<YourDeathComesInChrome> Hahahaha, Hux is going to kill his cat.

<Sn0k3DaSupr3m3> LMFAO.

<FN-2187> Lol.

<Commandant.B.Hux> XD

<Mitth’raw’nuruodo> Lol!

<HuttSlayerLeia> lololololol

<The.Master.of.Ren> Lol.

<General.Hux> THAT ISN’T FUNNY. I WILL NOT BE VENTING MY CAT.

This is the bEST THING I’VE EVER READ. BYE

THIS ENTIRE POST

| techiehux

yayroos:

For everyone’s information:

The plan for the 17th, when the adult content ban comes in, is to protest.

To do that, we are making as much noise either side of the 17th as possible, and using the site as normal.

On the 17th, dead silence.

People are saying log off but what they really mean is don’t open the site or the app.

But, on the 17th make as much noise as possible on every other platform. Tweet about it and post on facebook and instagram and everywhere else.

What this does is causes a massive dip in ad revenue for one single day. That does not make staff think ‘oh everyone’s gone let’s shut down.’ What it actually makes them think is ‘oh shit people aren’t happy and if people don’t keep using our site we’re out of money and out of jobs.’

A boycott reminds a company that the users (consumers) have the power to make their site (business) worthless with one single coordinated decision.

If you want to join in, here’s what to do:

Do:

  • Close all open instances of the app and site on all your devices before the 17th
  • Make posts before and after the 17th on tumblr and other platforms, talking about why this ban is bad
  • Make posts on other sites during the 17th. Flood the official tumblr staff twitter and facebook with your anger and your opinion
  • Come back on the 18th and check in

Don’t:

  • Delete the app from your phone (this doesn’t affect their revenue and since it’s off the store at the moment it’ll be hard to get back)
  • Delete your account. I mean you can if you want to, but if you keep your account and don’t use it you’re saying to staff that there’s still time to save it. If you delete it’s hard work to come back.
  • Open the app or website (including specific blogs)
  • Make any posts (turn down/off your queue and make sure nothing is scheduled)
  • Go quiet elsewhere. Make it clear that this is just about tumblr, not a mass move away from all social media.

Remember: the execs don’t care about anything but money. Shutting down the site means there’s $0 further income from it. That’s their last possible course of action. If we make it clear we’re not happy, they’ll have to do something or we can do more and more until it becomes too expensive.

Protests take commitment. They’re a defiant action against a business that is doing something wrong. They will try to scare you into not participating, because they’re scared. We hold all the power here, sometimes the execs just need to be reminded of that.

| techiehux

bittertarinetea:

The guy on the left, since he shows clear disgust with having his picture taken suddenly without permission. The guy on the left has had so little sleep that his grip on reality and emotions has left him