Chillin’ with you

flamitas:

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like kylux.

Stranger: [modern au] Hux, do you think we should try and get your brother a date? BS

You: I don’t think so. That would be a bit forced, don’t you think? AH

Stranger: I mean, we could introduce him to some people. BS

You: We could. But, no blind dates or any of that. AH

You: Ben, why do you want Bill to get a date? AH

Stranger: He just seems… depressed when we’re together, you know? Like he’s lonely. BS

Stranger: I think if we set him up with a few casual meetings, he might at least get the courage to get out there by himself. BS

You: I don’t know, Ben. AH

You: What if those casual meetings are just people who want someone to shag? AH

Stranger: Trust me, I’ll vet them before I introduce them. BS

You: Mm. AH

You: I’ll have to meet them, too. AH

Stranger: You’ll like him. I’ve got a guy in mind. BS

You: What’s his name? AH

You: And what does he do for a living? AH

Stranger: His name is Matt, he works in IT, he’s a hobby woodworker, and he’s into all the same nerdy stuff as Bill. BS

You: So, he likes computers. Like Bill. AH

Stranger: Yeah. He’s kind of awkward, but he’s a really good guy. BS

You: Are you sure he’s single? AH

Stranger: I’m sure. He’s one of my best friends. BS

You: What was his last boyfriend or girlfriend like? AH

Stranger: …a long time ago. BS

Stranger: Just some college freshman thing. Nothing exciting. BS

You: All right. AH

You: Does he sleep around? AH

Stranger: No, he doesn’t. BS

You: You said he was awkward. Why? AH

Stranger: …he’s just awkward. Not the best at making conversation. Nerdy and eccentric. BS

You: Oh, well, you said he’s a good guy. AH

Stranger: Yeah, he is. I think Bill might really like him. BS

You: Maybe. AH

Stranger: Maybe is a start. BS

You: I’m still worried about Bill. AH

Stranger: What do you mean? BS

You: I don’t want anyone to break his heart or take advantage of him. AH

Stranger: Matt’s not going to shag him and leave. I promise. BS

You: Good. He better keeps his hands off Bill. AH

Stranger: Well, if Bill invites him to, you can’t hold Matt responsible. BS

Stranger: Your brother probably isn’t as innocent as you think. BS

You: I’m not saying he’s innocent, but he’s a virgin. AH

You: We’ve had that conversation before, Bill and I. AH

Stranger: …you have? If Rey tried to have that conversation with me, I’d die. BS

You: Why? AH

Stranger: I really don’t want to hear what she’s done with Finn, or Rose, or whichever of her friends she’s dating. BS

You: … That’s not how Bill and I had that conversation, but yeah, I see your point. AH

Stranger: What did you talk about, then? BS

You: [Delay] We were talking about our dad, first. A righteous man who did everything right until he cheated on his wife because it turned out that he was in love with another woman, Bill’s and my mum. AH

You: Bill said he would save himself for marriage, and he would marry the right person. AH

Stranger: …Hux, how long ago was this? BS

Stranger: And you certainly didn’t make any such vow. BS

You: We had just finished high school. AH

You: No, but I’ve never gone beyond second base. AH

Stranger: Second base is a nebulous term. Depends on who you ask. BS

Stranger: I regret ever asking my father. He said it was the “Four F’s.” BS

You: What’s that? AH

Stranger: French, Fondle, Finger, Fuck. BS

You: Oh my God. AH

Stranger: I know. BS

Stranger: So, what does second base mean to you? BS

You: French. And maybe taking your shirt off, or your partner’s. But no touching their privates. AH

You: What does it mean to you? The “Four F’s”, too? AH

Stranger: Well, if you take F2 to mean clothes-on feeling up, or strictly above the waist without clothes. Clothes-off feeling up is more F3. BS

You: This can be so confusing. AH

You: Are there any other ways to… classify these acts? AH

Stranger: Bases are dumb. I think the furthest we’ve done is, uh… have we done any more than kissing? BS

You: I touched your pecs one, when we were in the pool. AH

You: It wasn’t sexual, though. AH

Stranger: I touched your butt once or twice during the kissing. BS

Stranger: …it fits nicely in my hand. Is that weird? BS

You: I don’t think so. I mean, your hands are huge, and my butt is not spectacular. AH

Stranger: I think it’s cute. You have a nice butt. BS

You: Oh. Thank you. AH

You: You’ve got nice pecs, but you already know that. AH

You: You’ve got the body of a Greek god. AH

Stranger: Hopefully you mean one like Apollo, and not Hephaestus. BS

Stranger: You know, I’ve noticed that little wiggle you do when we’ve been making out for a while. If you need some time to cool off, just say so. BS

You: Little wiggle? AH

Stranger: Yeah, you kind of move your hips around, but not in an on-purpose way. BS

You: Oh, dear. I’m sorry! AH

Stranger: No, I don’t mind, I just thought I should tell you, I won’t be offended if you need to get some air. BS

You: Thank you, Ben. AH

You: I really like kissing you. AH

Stranger: I like kissing you, too. BS

You: Hey, Ben? AH

Stranger: Yeah? BS

You: [Delay] Nothing. I was just thinking about Bill. AH

Stranger: …come on, you can tell me. BS

You: I’m just worried about him. AH

You: If Matt wants to go on a date with him, we’ll all have to hang out together first. The four of us. AH

Stranger: Of course. He’s probably going to realize why we’re all hanging out, but we won’t push them. BS

You: Yes. Bill will know what’s going on, too. AH

You: They’ll be free to decide if they want to keep seeing each other. AH

Stranger: I think they’ll get along. Matt’s a laid-back kind of guy. His idea of a good date is going to a museum, or staying in with a tv show. BS

You: That sounds nice. AH

Stranger: He’s happy just to spend time together. He won’t drag Bill out to some big crowded place unless he wants to go. BS

You: Well… AH

You: Bill and I went to a nightclub two or three times when we were in college. AH

Stranger: Oh? Tell me more. BS

You: The first time we went there wasn’t planned. I was a little sad, so we went for a walk at night… and we ended up there. AH

You: I’m still surprised they let us in because there was a dress code, and our clothes were fine. AH

Stranger: You always were a sharp dresser. BS
Nightclubs are so loud, I can’t even think when I’m in one. BS

You: Yeah, they’re loud. But when you lose yourself in the music… well. AH

You: You realise it’s not so bad. AH

Stranger: I didn’t know you liked dancing. BS

You: I do. AH
Bill and I took ballet classes, but we stopped when we were about to finish college. AH

Stranger: Ballet isn’t something I associate with clubs… I’d love to see you dance sometime, though. BS

You: I love dancing in general. AH
If you want to see me dance ballet, I’m afraid I’ve not danced in ages. AH

Stranger: I never really learned how to dance, I’m afraid. BS

You: We could try one of these days, if you want. AH

Stranger: Teach me how to dance. A waltz, maybe? BS

You: Yes. A waltz would be nice. AH

You: We might end up making out, though. AH

Stranger: I wouldn’t mind that, either. BS

You: And if I do that little wiggle? AH

Stranger: Then you can either take a break, or I’ll wiggle back. BS

You: Well… AH

Stranger: Hm? BS

You: It won’t hurt if you wiggle back. AH

Stranger: And maybe after the dance lesson, we could try a little more touching? BS

You: With our clothes on? AH

Stranger: With as much as you want to wear or take off. BS

Stranger: I think I’m ready for more than you are, so I’ll let you set the pace here. BS

You: Have you been with someone before? AH

Stranger: No. BS

You: How far would you like to go? AH

Stranger: I’m ready for more, Hux. I just don’t want to make you feel rushed. BS

You: I want to wait for sex. AH

You: But, you’ve touched my butt. Now it’s my turn. AH

Stranger: You can touch anything you want, love. BS

You: Then I might touch your butt one of these days. AH

Stranger: Don’t forget the pecs. 😉 BS

You: I definitely won’t forget about your pecs. AH

You: Or your 8 pack. AH

Stranger: They make a very good pillow. BS

You: I know. AH

You: You’re very comfortable. AH

Stranger: I love how you snuggle up and lay on me, you know. It’s comforting. BS

You: You really think so? AH

Stranger: Yeah, I do. BS

You: You’re sweet. AH

You: I’m glad you feel comfortable with me. AH

Stranger: It’s just really calming, listening to you breathe. Which sounds weird, but yeah. BS

You: I don’t think it’s weird, Ben. AH

You: I feel the same way with you. AH

Stranger: You’re ridiculously sweet. BS

You: Only with you. AH

You: I’m your boyfriend. AH

Stranger: My favorite person in the whole world. BS

You: Aw, Ben. AH

Stranger: I really do wanna spend my whole life with you. BS

You: Ben… AH

You: Do you really mean that? AH

Stranger: I do. And someday soon, I’m going to find the perfect way to ask you. BS

You: [Delay] I love you, Ben Solo. AH

Stranger: I love you too, Hux. BS

Stranger: Every single bit of you. The freckles on your nose, that little cowlick in your hair, the way you scrunch your shoulders when you laugh… BS

You: I feel like I can’t breathe. AH

You: You’re going to make me blush. AH

Stranger: Shh, you’re adorable. BS

You: So are you. AH

Stranger: You know what I really love? BS

You: What? AH

Stranger: That itty bitty little noise you make when I rub your back. BS

You: Oh, dear, I make a noise? AH

Stranger: The tiniest little sigh. BS

You: It’s your fault. You’re very good when you rub my back. AH

Stranger: Well, I like doing it because you seem so happy. BS

You: It does make me feel happy. AH

You: Um, Ben? AH

Stranger: Yeah? BS

You: A moment ago you said we could try a little more touching. AH

Stranger: Yes? BS

You: Maybe we could try giving massages to each other? AH

Stranger: That sounds like a wonderful way to spend an evening. BS

You: I’ll get some sweet-scented oils, then. AH

You: And I’ll have a few candles ready. AH

Stranger: How romantic… You’re really going all out for this, huh? BS

You: I was this to be perfect. AH

You: Everything has to be perfect. You deserve it. AH

Stranger: It’ll be perfect as long as you’re there. BS

You: I hope so, Ben. AH

Stranger: I love you. Just relax and enjoy our night. BS

You: I’ll try. AH

Stranger: I’ll bring some scented lotion, okay? BS

You: Okay! AH

You: I’ll have candles and flowers ready. AH

Stranger: …calm down, sweetheart. You’re adding on more every time. BS

You: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just want this to be perfect. AH

Stranger: All I need is you. BS

You: But, Ben. AH

Stranger: I promise, Hux. You’re more than enough. BS

You: Okay. AH

You: Okay. I’ll try to relax. AH

Stranger: Just breathe, okay? You got this far without any fancy dates. BS

You: Well, yeah. AH

You: I guess that the fact that you want us to spend the rest of our lives together should be enough to keep me calm. AH

Stranger: I want to be grouchy old men who feed the birds in the park together. BS

You: Bill says that I’ll wear the same sweaters when I’m old. AH

You: He also says that you’ll probably still have beautiful hair. AH

Stranger: I’ll be one of those old guys with a rockin’ silver ponytail and a full head of hair. BS

Stranger: And you’ll be my dapper husband in cozy professor sweaters with elbow patches. BS

Stranger: (brb)

You: You’ll always be sexy. AH

Stranger: …sexy? I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you call me that. BS

You: Oh, uh, I’ve always thought you’re sexy. AH

Stranger: Aww, babe. BS

You: You are! AH

Stranger: Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I’ve never thought I was anything special. BS

Stranger: You, on the other hand, are utterly gorgeous. BS

You: You’ve got to be joking. Everyone I know thinks you’re handsome, Ben. AH

You: … I’m not gorgeous. AH

Stranger: You’re beautiful. Eyes like a winter sea, eyelashes like stained glass, a piano player’s graceful hands… BS

You: … You really are in love with me. AH

Stranger: I am. Completely. Without a doubt. BS

You: I adore you, Ben. AH

Stranger: I’ll see you tonight, sweetheart. BS

You: Of course, handsome. AH

You: I’ll have everything ready. AH

Stranger: Stop, I’m blushing. BS

You: Why are you blushing, gorgeous? AH

Stranger: When you say things like that… BS

You: But it’s true. AH

You: I love your eyes. Your face. Your hair. Your perfect body. Your hands. AH

Stranger: I’m all yours, love. BS

Stranger: (time for me to sleep, but this was so cute <3)

Stranger has disconnected.

agoodflyting:

egregiousderp:

marrecarandgi:

spacescadet:

sairen-drop:

Everyone loses their shit when Hux is not around

#i feel like a much easier way to destroy the first order would be just#remove hux#like someone steal hux#they cannot function without him lol  (via reysthetic)

I love in FO the situation is considered beyond fuck when even Hux is gone. On normal days he’s totally the workaholic, who’s always the last to leave.

I love how the morale is high even when under attack because it’s like, “Hux has got this. He’s the Youngest General Ever. I’m sure he has a plan even when the fuel cells get hit!”

Where nobody acknowledges they might die until Hux is gone and then they’re like, “SHIT WE MUST BE ABOUT TO DIE. OUR SLYTHERIN LEADER IS GONE.”

Also the fact that some people apparently haven’t noticed Hux is gone which suggests he didn’t so much Leave as Go To Inform Supreme Leader Of The Situation and then not come back

HUX LEFT THEIR ASSES.

Virulent – EllaBesmirched (El_Bell) – Star Wars Sequel Trilogy [Archive of Our Own]

ellabesmirched:

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Phasma/Kylo Ren
Characters: Armitage Hux, Kylo Ren, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Phasma (Star Wars)
Additional Tags: Zombies, Convict Kylo Ren, Correctional Officer Phasma, Doctor Hux, Sci-fi with some fantasy elements, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, neither is hux, or phasma, they are all terrible fucking people, Other characters will show up later, Kylux – Freeform, genre-typical violence– that genre being kicking the shit out of some zombies, Explicit Sexual Content
Summary:

A prison cell is literally the worst place to be when the zombie apocalypse breaks out.

Virulent – EllaBesmirched (El_Bell) – Star Wars Sequel Trilogy [Archive of Our Own]

wyomingnot:

Did you know today is World Yoga Day? Names of poses in the captions.