subhux:

“Didn’t your father ever tell you to wear a condom?”

Kylo looks at Hux with disgust, anger and a little of something else. He’s standing at the bottom of the entrance ramp to his TIE Silencer with a fist clenched and an expression on his face that could make Hux’s father turn in his grave – if the abusive fucker had been granted one. He looks tired, worn, like he’s been losing sleep for a while now and Hux can see why: beside Ren, standing at a few inches below his hip and clinging on to his hand like it’s her life craft is a tiny little girl.

She has thick black hair that’s cut short and hangs in greasy strands that almost block out her downcast eyes; her cheeks are hollow and bony and even though she’s heavily clothed, Hux suspects the rest of her body is just as thin, frail. That’s worrying, Hux thinks, and he makes a mental note to get the girl some food as soon as possible.

Despite her ragged and scruffy appearance, there’s no doubt in Hux’s mind that this girl is Kylo’s daughter.

Hux shouldn’t feel as sick as he does.

Whatever. What’s done is done and now, as always, Hux will have to pick up the pieces. Nothing new there then.

Crouching down so he can look at the girl at eye level, Hux holds out his hand and gives a gentle, encouraging smile. It’s the type of smile Hux wishes he’d gotten more as a child, especially when he was feeling scared and alone. He figures that’s probably what all children want. “Hello,” He says, keeping his voice as kindly as possible, “My name’s General Hux. What’s yours?”

Before the little girl can open her mouth, Kylo answers for her, “Lysandra.”

“I didn’t ask you,” Hux snaps, catches himself, and smiles at Lysandra even sweeter this time. If he wants to gain the little girl’s trust, he probably shouldn’t be so obviously mean to her daddy. He’ll have to deliver his scathing, derogatory comments under his breath from now on. What a shame. “You were saying, dear?”

Lysandra looks up at Kylo and for a second her dark hair falls out from the path of her eyes, allowing her to see a little better. She blinks up at him once, gets a sharp reassuring nod, then turns back to Hux who tries to keep himself composed. Even now he can’t stand the thought of someone deferring to Ren instead of him. “I like Andi better.”

Hux smiles bigger when Andi shakes his hand; her grip is soft, weak and cautious but there’s a certain level of power behind it. Perhaps, once she’s settled, Andi may truly prove to be her father’s daughter. Perhaps she will grow into a strong ally. Those insights will have to wait for now though, “Well, Andi. Why don’t you go with Lieutenant Loxias here and get cleaned up? Then we can get a good meal into you and hear all about your adventures.”

The Lieutenant steps forward and, after an encouraging shove from her father, Andi follows her through a sliding door and out of sight. That leaves Hux, Kylo and a mass of stormtroopers and naval officers in the docking bay. There are far too many people around for the argument they’re about to have.

“Armitage,” Kylo pleads, his voice soft, breathy, desperate, “I can explain.”

Hux shakes his head, hisses, “Not here,” and turns away.

They take refuge in their shared quarters, far away from prying eyes and eager ears. Stormtroopers are renowned gossips and this isn’t a topic Hux wants to be passed around in the cafeteria tomorrow. Hux is great at steeling his features, keeping his emotions bottled up inside so they can never be used against him. Ren isn’t the only one in this relationship who wears a mask; Hux’s is simply harder to see.

“Talk,” Hux orders, keeping his back turned to Ren. He faces the dark, metal wall, stares at one distinct spot and looks nowhere else. “Now.”

“She’s six years old,” Kylo says and the tone of his voice forces Hux to turn, to take in the man hunched over before him. Ren looks miserable, broken and like he’s willing to give every last bit of himself just to make Hux see, “She was conceived four months before you and I… before we became us. I promise you, Armitage, I’ve never touched another since our first night together.”

Hux feels too open, like his emotions are too bare. He was able to hold it together for the child – for Kylo’s child – for Andi. But now? Not now.

“Where’s her mother,” He asks, unable to bring any warmth to the words. It’s not that he wants to close off to Kylo – he can’t blame the man for having the past – but there’s something so raw and bitter about Kylo bringing home a child, something Hux can never give him. Whoever the mystery woman is, she’s the one that’s provided for their Supreme Leader, she’s the one who’s supplied Ren with an heir, something that Hux simply cannot do, no matter how much he wishes he were able.

He wants to know who she is.

He wants to hate her.

A beat of silences passes and Kylo frowns. It’s like he hadn’t been expecting that question at all which Hux finds odd because who wouldn’t want to know about their husband’s lover. Or ex-lover, if Ren is to be believed regarding his faithfulness. Hux may be hurt, may have dark thoughts clashing around in his head, but he’s not stupid; he knows when Ren is lying to him and this isn’t one of those times. That fact, at least, comes as some relief.

Finally, Kylo shrugs, disinterested, “It was a one-time thing. Met her almost seven years ago in a bar on Coruscant, went back to her place, left the next morning. During my last mission I bumped into her again,” Despite himself, Hux flinched; it failed to go undetected, “I bumped into her again,” Ren says with more feeling this time, gently, quietly. He takes a step closer to Hux almost like he’s approaching a spooked animal, “Barely anything was said. She pushed Lysandra into my arms and disappeared into the crowd before I could stop her. I don’t even know her name, just that her child is my daughter and my responsibility.”

Hux isn’t sure he has any fight left in him for this – he feels drained and fragile, which he hates – and even if he did have some anger left over, he doesn’t think he wants to fight.

Everyone has a past – and what is that thing Ren is always preaching?

Let the past die.

Kill it if you have to.

Lysandra is Kylo’s present and that’s how she’ll stay. Hux will take care of her, help raise her (Gods know Ren won’t be able to do it on his own) – he’ll treat the little girl like the daughter he’ll never be able to give his husband on his own. Kylo will teach her to fight and Hux will teach her to win. Together they’ll give the girl a home and make sure she’ll always, always be loved.

Her mother is Kylo’s past.

And, well…

“Love.” Kylo is right in front of him now, his hands coming up to either side of Hux’s face. Stroking his thumbs over Hux’s cold cheeks, he searches his husband’s eyes, “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Kylo could take Hux’s thoughts if he wanted, but he doesn’t and Hux is grateful for that. He knows what he has to do now, knows he has to take a trip to Coruscant. It’s best Kylo doesn’t find out about that, he thinks, so smiles instead, shakily at first and leans in to press his parted lips against his husbands.

“It’s okay,” He assures, pressing their foreheads together. “This’ll all be okay.”

And Hux is surprised to realise he means it. They will be okay – because that woman may be Ren’s past but Hux is his future and there is nothing, no one, that will ever change that.

The sigh of relief that Ren gives brushes against Hux’s wet mouth and makes him shiver, move in closer. “I love you, General,” He whispers, so low it makes Hux’s stomach tingle.

Hux smirks, wraps his arms around Ren’s neck until their bodies are almost one, “And I love you, Supreme Leader.”