(Fall décor, mixed with my own personal headcanon of Hux having arachnophobia)
Kylo wrapped the banisters to the stairs in a white gossamer, humming “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” as he did so, stopping every few seconds to add a crocheted spider his friend Phasma gave him. Since it was the start of the Halloween season, he knew the prank battle between him and Hux would escalate this year. Last year, Hux snatched the victory with his impressive usage of a projection of the Demogorgon (and some help from Mitaka on stilts) to take the victory in the prank war. This year, Kylo was determined to come out on top, and he would tap into Hux’s worst fear.
Armitage rolled his eyes at the idea of ghosts and haunted places, but always kept a watchful eye anyway. The mere mention of evil clowns launches him into an eyeroll. But it’s one tiny thing that sends his pulse rushing, one small, eight-legged creature that makes his heart pound- spiders.
“Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren, does whatever a Kylo can/To make Hux piss his pants/When he sees a spider dance/Look out for prank king Kylo Ren!” Kylo sang under his breath as he wound fake spider webs around Hux’s study, making sure to cover everything from the computer to his desk. Just then, he looked around and spotted the one thing that would make his prank complete. Off to the side, resting on a stand, was a gleaming alto sax- Hux’s most prized possession. Kylo wrapped the horn in the fake webs, dotting tiny plastic spiders on the keys, before setting a fake tarantula into the bell. For added measure, he made it look like a black widow was spinning a web from the mouthpiece, which would definitely make Hux scream like a little girl. Chuckling to himself, he went back to the living room and pretended to look busy as he heard the sound of the door open. He waved hello to his boyfriend as Hux lugged in his briefcase, exhausted from his long day at work, as Millicent wove between his legs, demanding her hooman give her attention. Sooty, Kylo’s cat, perched on the couch and blinked slowly at Hux before flopping on his side and falling asleep.
Kylo watched as Hux went downstairs, presumably to play some music for a while. After a long, exhausting day at work, Hux would take up his sax and play to relieve his tensions and anger. (Most of the time he would play jazz standards, but he would add in some free jazz improvisation from time to time.) However, instead of music, Kylo heard a yelp of fright, followed by a growl of exasperation. Holding back laughter, Kylo watched as Hux stomped up the stairs, angrily clutching his saxophone which was covered in fake spiders.
“Explain,” Hux barked, shoving the instrument in Kylo’s face. Unable to contain himself, Kylo burst out into laughter.
“Man, I should’ve seen your face!” Kylo said, slapping his knee, which only earned him a glare from Hux. Heaving a sigh, Hux began to slowly and meticulously remove the webs and spiders off of his instrument, and playfully put them on Kylo’s head as a tacky hat.
“If I can’t blow this, that means I can’t blow you, right?” Hux teased, his face now in a smirk. “I’m so getting you back next time!” Hux said, shaking his fist like a melodramatic villain.
“How? By playing your sax in my ear?” Kylo teased with a resounding laugh. Hux shot him a ‘just you wait’ look and went back down to his study, where Kylo was greeted with the sound of Hux playing a sultry, deliberate jazz rendition of the infamous snake charmer song. Kylo’s eyes went wide and he immediately stopped laughing. Was Hux going to-? No, that would be impossible.
The next morning, Kylo woke up, only to find an angry rubber king cobra on Hux’s pillow, hissing furiously at him (thanks to a recording).
Rated Teen for married modern AU! Kylux fluff. 687 words
Hux drunk buys the wrong size pillow cases. There will be a sequel later on in the month. ;D
Kylo should’ve known Hux would be as uptight about details in the household as he was in the office. That’s what you get for marrying your coworker. Although they were heads of different departments, there were enough meetings for Kylo to realize Hux could micromanage even the cockroaches in the dumpsters that bordered the smoking area. He snorted at the thought of the stern redhead waving his smoke telling the cockroaches that they need to burrow higher to get the fresher goods before demonstrating his orders. It was most likely going against the cockroaches modus operandi, but Hux would strong arm them until they did what he wanted them to.
Today’s cockroaches were the throw pillows Hux was forcing into the newly purchased autumnal cases. He was red faced and had already threatened to break Kylo’s knee caps if he tried to help. Kylo slid back down on his black leather powered La-Z-Boy recliner (“It’s a reading chair, you buffoon!”) that had a lumbar support pillow with a new case saying “Fall into Love” in orange cursive. His phone dinged with Rey’s snapchat response to the snap of the cheesy pillow cover. He opened his phone ignoring Hux.
Ew. He really is the antichrist.
Kylo took a deep breath and waited for his defensive streak to calm down. His little sister had sided with the rest of his laid back family a long time ago but was still willing to stay in touch. He closed his eyes for a second and composed a reply: I don’t think the antichrist would lose to a throw pillow.
He secretly filmed a couple of snaps of Hux punching a pillow into the corner of a snug case to only have the pillow pop back out with his retreating fist. He stood there panting expletives before stomping into the kitchen. Kylo’s last snap was of Hux stomping back into the living room with a butter knife and a face realizing he was being filmed.
Kylo laughed while quickly sending the snaps to Rey before tucking his phone in his jeans back pocket. Hux tossed the knife on the couch and attempted to punch Kylo. The taller man gently blocked the lackluster attack by brushing Hux’s left fist away with his right hand. In time with Hux’s arm swinging away, Kylo’s legs were sweeping Hux’s unbalanced stance. Hux cursed as he was spun 180 degrees and pulled into Kylo’s arms. Kylo felt flush with pride. Being able to literally sweep his husband off his feet was worth the two decades of martial arts. Hux went limp in his arms and sighed, “I really thought the 40 by 40 centimeter cases would work for our 16 by 16 inch pillows.”
Kylo kissed the back of Hux’s head, “You were drunk when you purchased them.”
“And whose fault is that?” Hux snipped defensively while stiffening in Kylo’s arms.
“Hux,” Kylo’s voice softened to nearly a whisper. “It’s just pillows. The new throw blankets feel orgasmic, the wax melts smell perfectly natural, Millie isn’t interested in destroying the decorational gourds, and my hands haven’t cracked with the season change thanks to the new lotion you put in my bag.”
Hux was still a little stiff in his arms, but he was at least looking at Kylo. Hux licked his lips before turning completely for a kiss on the lips. A small voiceless thank you that Kylo has learned to appreciate and love. Kylo returned the thank you with a firmer kiss and a squeeze of Hux’s rear. He couldn’t help growling as Hux wriggled his ass.
Hux cursed and pulled away, “No, not until 10 pm. Now, let’s try to recoup the costs. I think we can sell these on Nextdoor.”
“Oh? We’re not just gonna buy some more 14 by 14 pillows?” Kylo asked with a smirk.
Hux glared at him while collecting the cases, “We have enough pillows.”
“Whoa. Can I get that in writing?” Kylo asked with mock surprise. His phone dinged with Rey’s response. He grinned, “Or on video?”
Hux rolled his eyes, “One of these days, you will grow up.”
TechieHux 