mei-mei-doin-roleplay:

techiehux:

mei-mei-doin-roleplay:

techiehux:

Techie relaxes into the mattress, looking up from the pillow as if something she’d said drained the tension from his body. “Nao,” he whispers to her like it’s a secret, a smile in his voice. “In case you d-didn’t get the memo… I’M a big stupid loser.” He meant it, actually. Techie’s self-esteem lay so far underground that it could hit the planet’s core. And yet, though somewhat misguided, Nao was praising him.

If being a “big stupid loser” meant he hadn’t let this cruel world make him unfeeling or hardened… that was alright by Techie. “I’ve never b-been normal, and if ‘normal’ is treating oth-thers like garbage, I’d rather be weird.” 

Something about this felt like a teaching moment, as though in some alternate universe he’d been her father and had the responsibility of guiding Nao through life. It was a pleasant idea. Heaven knows Techie hardly felt useful or needed. Maybe he was here, a little bit.

She didn’t dare look at Techie in the silence that followed due to the tightening in her throat. If she did, he’d see the tears that were dangerously close to spilling and if she spoke, he’d hear the weak wavering accompanied by wanting to cry but holding back. ‘Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What are you crying for, huh? Because that snivelling loser reminds you of your difficult, dumb and dead brother? He was kind too and look where it got him.’ Her cruel thoughts did little to make her feel better but it did remind her that Techie was wrong.

“T-Then you’ll just die like the rest of them! Probably in some trash heap forgotten and unmourned!” She snapped at him, voice still full of sadness but sharp enough to indicate she was angry. She rolled over with her back to Techie and pulled the blanket over her head so she could be disconsolate in peace.

Techie’s mouth fell open, at a loss for words. Obviously Nao had lived through something horrible to hold all these cynical thoughts so close to her heart. Being bitter and sad should be for lonely 34 year olds like him, not for kids. His chest tightened with sympathetic pain. Did she ever even get to be a child in peace?

“I’m s-sorry,” he apologizes quietly. “I didn’t mean to, uh, upset you…” Techie let her have as much of the blanket as she wanted and settled in under the sliver left over. His eyes were still wide open, staring at the ceiling and knowing he’d be getting little to no sleep. But he had an idea.

“Nao… My brother w-would mourn me. So would Matt. And… maybe you w-would. As long as I h-had people that cared about me, it’s okay if I d-die in a trash heap.”

“I’m not upset.” Came the pouting reply, muffled by the blankets. She couldn’t keep the scowl off her face, nor the stream of anger rumbling in her chest. Anger at what? Who? Her brother? ‘If he didn’t die I wouldn’t be alone. All of this is his fault.’ It felt easier to direct what she was feeling towards someone who went where she couldn’t follow, than to face the truth of the matter. ‘I hate you, I hate you! You just had to be kind.’ Angry tears blurred what little vision she had under the blankets and it took everything she had not to sob. Though unintentional, the conversation had brought up some raw memories and emotions kept unsettled beneath the surface. She couldn’t manage a reply to Techie, only hold her silence so that she didn’t make a sound to indicate her moment of weakness.

At a loss for what to do, Techie stares hard at the bundle of Nao under the covers with wide eyes. Whenever Techie was upset and couldn’t sleep, Matt often would rub his back and give him a warm hug. They’d fall asleep together like that and Techie’s chest would ache with love. He felt safer like that; protected. But there was no way he’d do that to Nao if she wasn’t okay with it.

“Nao?” he asks, quietly. “L-Listen… I might be having a hard time falling asleep t-tonight. Can I, um, cuddle a little closer, please? So I can f-feel safe?”

Making it seem like Techie needed comfort instead of Nao seemed like a good idea. For a kid she had a lot of pride.

mei-mei-doin-roleplay:

techiehux:

Techie relaxes into the mattress, looking up from the pillow as if something she’d said drained the tension from his body. “Nao,” he whispers to her like it’s a secret, a smile in his voice. “In case you d-didn’t get the memo… I’M a big stupid loser.” He meant it, actually. Techie’s self-esteem lay so far underground that it could hit the planet’s core. And yet, though somewhat misguided, Nao was praising him.

If being a “big stupid loser” meant he hadn’t let this cruel world make him unfeeling or hardened… that was alright by Techie. “I’ve never b-been normal, and if ‘normal’ is treating oth-thers like garbage, I’d rather be weird.” 

Something about this felt like a teaching moment, as though in some alternate universe he’d been her father and had the responsibility of guiding Nao through life. It was a pleasant idea. Heaven knows Techie hardly felt useful or needed. Maybe he was here, a little bit.

She didn’t dare look at Techie in the silence that followed due to the tightening in her throat. If she did, he’d see the tears that were dangerously close to spilling and if she spoke, he’d hear the weak wavering accompanied by wanting to cry but holding back. ‘Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What are you crying for, huh? Because that snivelling loser reminds you of your difficult, dumb and dead brother? He was kind too and look where it got him.’ Her cruel thoughts did little to make her feel better but it did remind her that Techie was wrong.

“T-Then you’ll just die like the rest of them! Probably in some trash heap forgotten and unmourned!” She snapped at him, voice still full of sadness but sharp enough to indicate she was angry. She rolled over with her back to Techie and pulled the blanket over her head so she could be disconsolate in peace.

Techie’s mouth fell open, at a loss for words. Obviously Nao had lived through something horrible to hold all these cynical thoughts so close to her heart. Being bitter and sad should be for lonely 34 year olds like him, not for kids. His chest tightened with sympathetic pain. Did she ever even get to be a child in peace?

“I’m s-sorry,” he apologizes quietly. “I didn’t mean to, uh, upset you…” Techie let her have as much of the blanket as she wanted and settled in under the sliver left over. His eyes were still wide open, staring at the ceiling and knowing he’d be getting little to no sleep. But he had an idea.

“Nao… My brother w-would mourn me. So would Matt. And… maybe you w-would. As long as I h-had people that cared about me, it’s okay if I d-die in a trash heap.”

Techie relaxes into the mattress, looking up from the pillow as if something she’d said drained the tension from his body. “Nao,” he whispers to her like it’s a secret, a smile in his voice. “In case you d-didn’t get the memo… I’M a big stupid loser.” He meant it, actually. Techie’s self-esteem lay so far underground that it could hit the planet’s core. And yet, though somewhat misguided, Nao was praising him.

If being a “big stupid loser” meant he hadn’t let this cruel world make him unfeeling or hardened… that was alright by Techie. “I’ve never b-been normal, and if ‘normal’ is treating oth-thers like garbage, I’d rather be weird.” 

Something about this felt like a teaching moment, as though in some alternate universe he’d been her father and had the responsibility of guiding Nao through life. It was a pleasant idea. Heaven knows Techie hardly felt useful or needed. Maybe he was here, a little bit.

“It’s not… It’s n-not fine.” There’s still that fire in his eyes, like he could shoot a laser out of them and turn a cartoony villain into a pile of ash. But life didn’t work that way, and Nao’s words were wise beyond her years. Most people are cruel, and in the vast depths of space, it was easy to feel alone. There was often nobody on your side.

“My friend M-Matt, the one who can help you, he’s r-really strong and got a powerful f-friend. If I ever see one of th-the assh- uh, jerks who hurt you, I’m going to send him after th-them!” Even though he’s dead serious, the thought of Matt always puts a soft, lovestruck look on his face. His cheeks color and he lets himself drop to lay face-down on the bed again. It was too dark to see him blush, probably, but better safe than sorry.

“And anyway,” he adds, muffled somewhat by the pillow, “Helping others isn’t a waste of t-time. It never is.”

“You’re s-so, uh, sm-small,” Techie sputters, horrified. “H-how many p-people have tried to hurt you?!” He leans up on an elbow, jaw slack and eyebrows raised way up. Nao is a child, for fuck’s sake! A mature, resourceful one, but a kid nonetheless.

He thinks better of the question and corrects himself: “Who hurt you?” There’s an edge of justified anger in his voice, not at her, obviously, but at any and every asshole who harmed her. Techie thinks of his own son, millions of light years away, and fights back the wetness in his eyes. Useless. He’s always been so useless.

mei-mei-doin-roleplay:

techiehux:

Techie trembled, helpless, inexplicably missing the warmth of her hands. “I’m sorry,” he says, voice small. “I d-don’t know how to, er, turn it off. The f-fear… Some days it’s b-b-better than others.”

It’s so easy for his thoughts to run wild, especially considering the nasty PTSD he’s accumulated from years of utter hell. Techie relaxed into the mattress, trying to trust that Nao wouldn’t hurt him. Hopefully not, after all the kindness he was showing her. Were she discovered, Techie would be killed.

She clenched her fists, tensing her whole body up and then relaxed. It left her feeling calm. She turned to look at him once he mentioned fear. Not A fear. A particular type of fear. It resonated with her deeply. “… you mean like the fear that randomly comes back all the time?” She asked, a small part of herself hoping he was talking about the same thing she was thinking of.

She tried to ignore the weight of her words against him. It was uncalled for but it wasn’t like she could say sorry. She could never say sorry. Not to him, not to anyone.

His eyes lit up with understanding. They were more alike than he’d thought. “Yeah, th-that fear… The r-really bad one. Nightmares, and the weight on your chest. It’s h-horrible!” Techie, without realizing it, cuddles a fraction of an inch closer to Nao.

“So you too,” he muses, sad. No matter how silly an idea it was, Techie had hoped he was the only person who ever felt like this; as if he could have enough of the terror to spare everyone else. “N-nobody should have to feel like we do.”

Techie trembled, helpless, inexplicably missing the warmth of her hands. “I’m sorry,” he says, voice small. “I d-don’t know how to, er, turn it off. The f-fear… Some days it’s b-b-better than others.”

It’s so easy for his thoughts to run wild, especially considering the nasty PTSD he’s accumulated from years of utter hell. Techie relaxed into the mattress, trying to trust that Nao wouldn’t hurt him. Hopefully not, after all the kindness he was showing her. Were she discovered, Techie would be killed.

mei-mei-doin-roleplay:

techiehux:

mei-mei-doin-roleplay:

techiehux:

He stops his futile attempt at falling asleep and sits up once more, fixing his quizzical gaze on Nao. “Well, I don’t w-want you to sleep here either! It isn’t very, um, comfortable,” he admits with a sheepish, embarrassed grin.

The next sentence is out before he can properly think it over: “We could j-just share the bed.” Once that thought turns verbal, Techie feels a hot blush bloom from head to toe. How could he SAY that?! Stupid, stupid! You moron, absolute moron!!

His bad habit of blurting things out was something he’d never quite been able to train himself out of.

“Okay, share the bed. Get up, go on.” Her answer is calm, with a lack of anger but she folds her arms and waits for him to make the first move.

‘WHAT the-Share the BED?!? What the HELL are you doing Naomi and WHY are you letting it happen?!’ Internally, she screams at herself. Sharing the bed felt like such an idiotic idea not to mention an embarrassing one but… she hadn’t been close to anyone in years and she wasn’t prepared to make Techie sleep on the floor. Nor was she prepared to forsake the offer of a bed. Sharing was the most logical and she took it but internally she was freaking out probably as much as Techie was.

Techie stands up from his odd half-crouch on the ground and shuffles over to Nao with wide eyes before delicately laying himself over the very edge of the bed. He’s rigid like a plank, not even pulling the covers over himself.

“G-Goodnight, Nao,” he says through gritted teeth. Awkward. Veeery fucking awkward. There will be no sleep for Techie, but hopefully she will be able to catch some shut-eye.

She walked over to the bed and climbed over Techie daintily, before settling on the other side of the bed. She pulled back the covers and slid underneath them before pulling them over her shoulders.

The foreign feel of the bed combined with the presence of the blanket brought back blurry, subtle memories which she shoved back down as soon as she felt them. The bed wasn’t THAT comfortable she told herself bitterly fully knowing that to her, it was. She unintentionally stared angrily at Techie.

“Why are y-you, um, l-looking at me like that?” Techie whispered, spooked. Her glare made goosebumps break out all over his skin. He shifted onto his side to try and check if Nao really was giving him the stink eye. His peripheral vision told no lies; Nao looked mad.

Techie bit back a yelp and forced himself to stay still instead of throwing himself backwards off the bed. A knife? Was she going to stab him?! His heart pounded, hard, and he screwed his eyes shut.

mei-mei-doin-roleplay:

techiehux:

He stops his futile attempt at falling asleep and sits up once more, fixing his quizzical gaze on Nao. “Well, I don’t w-want you to sleep here either! It isn’t very, um, comfortable,” he admits with a sheepish, embarrassed grin.

The next sentence is out before he can properly think it over: “We could j-just share the bed.” Once that thought turns verbal, Techie feels a hot blush bloom from head to toe. How could he SAY that?! Stupid, stupid! You moron, absolute moron!!

His bad habit of blurting things out was something he’d never quite been able to train himself out of.

“Okay, share the bed. Get up, go on.” Her answer is calm, with a lack of anger but she folds her arms and waits for him to make the first move.

‘WHAT the-Share the BED?!? What the HELL are you doing Naomi and WHY are you letting it happen?!’ Internally, she screams at herself. Sharing the bed felt like such an idiotic idea not to mention an embarrassing one but… she hadn’t been close to anyone in years and she wasn’t prepared to make Techie sleep on the floor. Nor was she prepared to forsake the offer of a bed. Sharing was the most logical and she took it but internally she was freaking out probably as much as Techie was.

Techie stands up from his odd half-crouch on the ground and shuffles over to Nao with wide eyes before delicately laying himself over the very edge of the bed. He’s rigid like a plank, not even pulling the covers over himself.

“G-Goodnight, Nao,” he says through gritted teeth. Awkward. Veeery fucking awkward. There will be no sleep for Techie, but hopefully she will be able to catch some shut-eye.